Suicide: Facts, signs and prevention
During the last few days most of the world’s attention had been on the Winter Olympics or the massive 8.8 earthquake in Chile.
For two families however, those events took a back seat to the tragic loss of one of their own. Actor Walter Koenig, who played Chekov in the original “Star Trek” television series, and his wife Judith, lost their 41-year-old son Andrew Koenig to suicide. The former “Growing Pains” star was found at Vancouver’s famed Standley Park, not far, ironically, from the Olympic venues.
A day later our very own Marie Osmond’s 18-year-old son Michael was also found dead in Los Angeles from an apparent suicide. Our prayers and condolences go out to her, Michael’s father Brian Blosil and the entire Osmond family, as well as the Koenig family.
While this article may not provide any comfort to these families during this difficult time, I hope it might prevent someone else’s family from experiencing this unbearable grief.
Facts
Here are some pertinent facts about suicide: It takes the lives of 30,000 Americans each year. Many who attempt suicide never seek professional help. More than half of all suicides occur in adult men, ages 25-65, as in Andrew’s case. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15 to 24-year old Americans (according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention), as in Michael’s case.
The strongest risk factor for suicide is depression but research has also shown medications and therapy to be effective for suicide prevention. Finally, suicide can be prevented through education and public awareness. Hopefully this article can contribute in this manner.
Signs and symptoms
There are several danger/warning signs for people who are at risk for suicide, such as thinking, talking or wishing about suicide, or feeling trapped or hopeless, like there’s no way out of a certain situation or predicament. Withdrawal from family, friends, work, school or other activities and hobbies are important signs, as well as increased recklessness, meaning high risk-taking behaviors. A dramatic shift or change in mood coupled with agitation, restlessness, anger or irritability should be a concern, as is an increased preoccupation with death, i.e., looking for ways to die, doing internet searches for how to commit suicide, looking for pills or guns.
Paradoxically, suddenly feeling happier or calm can also be a danger sign. Losing interest in things one cares about, visiting or calling people one is close to, or giving away prized possessions are often seen as signs of a troubled mind.
Finally, making arrangements like setting one’s affairs in order can be viewed as a warning sign for suicide.
Prevention
If someone you know is actively suicidal, meaning they are not just thinking about it but have made a plan, please call 911 or go with them to the nearest emergency room. You can also dial the Suicide Prevention line at 1 800-273-TALK (8255). It’s important to talk to someone who can help get the necessary help. A suicidal person urgently needs to see a doctor or a mental health professional.
During the last 20 years, I have worked with a lot of people who were depressed for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it was a bio-chemical imbalance which caused the depression, while other times it was a situation that led to those feelings. For many, it got so bad that they wished to no longer exist. I think we’re all capable of having those feelings of sadness or despair at any given point in our lives.
Even the happiest people I’ve known — myself included — have at times thought of being in a better place.
I know after my mother passed away, I had such profound grief that I no longer wanted to be here on earth. I just wanted to be with her in the peacefulness of the next life. I even had thoughts like, “If Heavenly Father wants me to come ‘home’ tonight in my sleep, I’m OK with that.”
Many of the Latter-day Saints I’ve worked with have at some point in their lives expressed similar feelings. That’s not necessarily being suicidal; however, it’s more of an expression of how difficult life is right now, but they’d never take their own lives.
There were times however, when someone would express not only a desire to die but also had thought of and had the means to do it. That’s when an immediate intervention was necessary. Hospitalizing someone — sometimes even against their will — was not an easy task, but ethically, legally and morally, it was always the right thing to do.
Fortunately, no one I’ve ever worked with took their own life. I’m forever grateful for that!
I hope we can all pray for the families of these two men who passed away so suddenly. Their loved ones will find comfort in their own unique ways. There’s no “right way” to deal with grief. Talking with loved ones, seeking spiritual or professional help like grief counseling, sharing memories together with friends and family are just some of the ways they can begin to deal with their loss.
May God’s comfort be with them today and always.
Dr. Elia Gourgouris is a nationally known speaker, relationship coach, and the president of LDSCoaching.com. With over 20 years of experience, he has inspired thousands of individuals and couples to find greater happiness and fulfillment, both in their careers and their personal lives. He holds a degree from UCLA and a Ph.D. in psychology. Dr. Gourgouris speaks to groups around the country regarding women’s issues, self esteem, communications skills, and relationships. He is also a favorite presenter at both BYU and BYU-ID Education Weeks, and Time Out for Women conferences. He is the author of “DTR: What You Need to Know Before You Get Married” and he has an upcoming CD entitled “The Multi-Platinum Marriage: Going from Just Surviving to Thriving!” He and his wife, Sona, live near Boulder, Colorado, with their children.
