Ask Dr. Elia!

In last week’s article, I asked which Christlike attribute we might like to emulate the most in 2010, and was pleased to receive many thoughtful responses from readers. I’d like to share some of them with you in hopes that they will inspire you as well — after all, choosing any of the Lord’s attributes to concentrate on would make our lives better.

The question is, which one is best for you to concentrate on at this stage of your life?

1) I thought about which attribute of the Savior I would like to emulate the most, that would have the greatest positive impact in my life and came to the conclusion of trusting in the Lord, and turning my will and life to him. This challenge will strengthen my testimony and increase my faith.”

2) To act on the promptings more frequently that I receive through the Holy Ghost. No more excuses like, waiting until it’s “more convenient”, not right now — that wasn’t really for me to do someone else will do that, or I really don’t know them and that would be too awkward. The list could go on and on. I feel a strong desire to listen and react better to the promptings this year. My life is busy with a full time job outside the home, 7 kids, Stake YW Pres. and just being Mom, wife, and the “mother and father” to my 5 younger siblings and their families because both my parents have now passed away at very young ages. I know the Lord will not give me more then I can handle so when I get the promptings through that still small voice I need to react and ignore the long list of excuses that creep into my mind just as fast as the prompting comes.”

3) I thought about what one goal I would like to work on this year and Charity came to mind. Like having more faith, having more charity will improve all aspects of life. It is interesting — the attributes of the Savior, if you think about it, they are all tied together in some way.”

4) My answer was to emulate Christ by being loving, kind and forgiving.

5) I’d like to devote more time being of service to my extended family, friends and even strangers.

6) In thinking about choosing one goal for 2010, I decided to try to focus on more Christlike love. More Christlike love of family, others and self. I too make a long list of goals for the year and oftentimes set myself up for failure, (pay off credit cards, lose weight, run a 4-hour marathon, etc). Thanks for your inspiring articles. Happy 2010!!!!”

7) Hi Elia! I just read your article. This year, the attribute of Christ that I would like to become a bigger part of my spirit is charity. I read this cool quote in my student planner while thinking of this today: Charity is not just a precept or a principle, nor is it just a word to describe actions or attitudes. Rather, it is an internal condition that must be developed and experienced in order to be understood. We are possessors of charity when it is a part of our nature. People who have charity have a love for the Savior, have received of his love, and love others as he does. - C. Max Caldwell

8) I think most of the weaknesses and problems in my life could become sanctifiers instead of destroyers if I looked at people and problems from the Lord’s perspective. I learned this Christmas that only the Lord knows the hearts of all those around us, especially our families. I misunderstand them more than anyone for some reason. So- Charity it is, so I can be a better daughter, sister, and friend.

Every start of a new year brings with it a renewed sense of optimism and hope. It’s part of our human nature to set a multitude of new goals as we aspire to have a better year.

Typically, we start strong and excited, only to lose our focus and energy within a few weeks or months. As disappointment sets in, we often abandon the remaining set of goals, but business as usual will not get us to our sought-after vision of success.

Perhaps concentrating on one overarching goal until it becomes second nature to us might be something worth trying for a change. Choosing and mastering one of the above-mentioned attributes will certainly bless our lives in 2010. It also helps to have an “accountability buddy” to keep on track throughout this journey. Make sure you find a trusted friend, advisor or coach who has your best interest in mind. Explain to them the role they can play in your life as it relates to your goal and make a commitment to follow through.

Finally, I wanted to express my appreciation to all of you for holding me accountable during this past year. Your honest, inspired, positive and uplifting feedback has meant the world to me. I will continue to write from the heart, speak the truth and stay connected.

Thank you for your continued support and may 2010 bring you much growth and love.

Dr. Elia Gourgouris is a nationally known speaker, relationship coach, and the president of LDSCoaching.com. With over 20 years of experience, he has inspired thousands of individuals and couples to find greater happiness and fulfillment, both in their careers and their personal lives. He holds a degree from UCLA and a Ph.D. in psychology. Dr. Gourgouris speaks to groups around the country regarding women’s issues, self esteem, communications skills, and relationships. He is also a favorite presenter at both BYU and BYU-ID Education Weeks, and Time Out for Women conferences. He is the author of “DTR: What You Need to Know Before You Get Married” and he has an upcoming CD entitled “The Multi-Platinum Marriage: Going from Just Surviving to Thriving!” He and his wife, Sona, live near Boulder, Colorado, with their children.