Ask Dr. Elia!

This is my favorite time of the year, even if it’s really cold outside (for those of you in winter states). The entire month of December seems to be filled with family traditions that are repeated year after year but inexplicably never seem to get old.

Last night we watched “A Christmas Carol” for the umpteenth time. It always shows the same story with the same ending, and yet we sit and enthusiastically watch it together again and again as a family. If we ever dare to try and “skip” one of our traditions, the kids revolt (no matter how old they get), and we give in.

I think the reason that we love traditions as much as we do is because we live in such an unstable world. There is something very comforting about knowing what to expect year after year. Often, traditions get passed down to the next generation.

For the first time this year, Dad (that would be me) did not put up the Christmas lights. Our oldest son, Niko, took it entirely upon himself to fulfill that mission, and lo and behold, he did a much better job that I’ve ever done! Given a certain fear of high places, the extent of my putting up the outside lights has usually been limited to a few uneven strands above the garage. He exceeded all expectations by going on the roof — some 50 feet off the ground — and essentially giving his mom and I a mild heart attack! It’s great to know that his family will have a dad who goes all out. There’s a time in all parents’ lives when their kids outperform them. That it happened so soon has been a humbling experience. He knows more than I do, but wonderfully, isn’t it the hope of most parents to see their kids become a better version than themselves, spiritually, emotionally and physically? We couldn’t be more proud.

Another tradition we have is to attend a church of another Christian faith on Christmas Eve. We love listening to the Christmas Carols and the bells used to create such wonderful sounds. More than anything, we treasure the fellowship and commonality that we all share as we celebrate the birth of our Savior. After we get home, we all gather around the fireplace and read Christmas stories from the Ensign and New Era, as well as chapter two from Book of Luke. Last year, we enjoyed acting out our own Nativity, and of course we choose our personal gift to give to the Savior for the coming year.

Then Dad reads “‘Twas The Night Before Christmas,” and we all have a slumber party in the living room trying to see who’ll stay awake the longest and finally catch dear ol’ Santa as he gently place his gifts under the Christmas tree. So far, we’ve had no luck; somewhere around 3 in the morning, deep and peaceful sleep seems to take over.

Some traditions will get passed on to the next generation, and with each new family created, there will be some new traditions added. One thing will remain the same — the joy each Christmas brings to our hearts. Somehow it reminds us that we’re all children on some level. There are certain words that come to mind when we think of this time of the year: peace, love, joy, and most of all, hope. It is the hope that comes from knowing that Jesus was born, lived and died for us in order to have an opportunity to live with Him and God one day!

Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones!

Dr. Elia Gourgouris is a nationally known speaker, relationship coach, and the president of LDSCoaching.com. With over 20 years of experience, he has inspired thousands of individuals and couples to find greater happiness and fulfillment, both in their careers and their personal lives. He holds a degree from UCLA and a Ph.D. in psychology. Dr. Gourgouris speaks to groups around the country regarding women’s issues, self esteem, communications skills, and relationships. He is also a favorite presenter at both BYU and BYU-ID Education Weeks, and Time Out for Women conferences. He is the author of “DTR: What You Need to Know Before You Get Married” and he has an upcoming CD entitled “The Multi-Platinum Marriage: Going from Just Surviving to Thriving!” He and his wife, Sona, live near Boulder, Colorado, with their children.