Ask Dr. Elia!

My 12-year-old nephew Skyler has been through so much grief in the brief time he has been on Earth. Epilepsy, autism and most recently Type 1 diabetes have been burdens Skyler deals with daily.

A couple of years ago, his parents decided to get him a service dog which could detect seizures as well as keep him company. An adorable, specially trained Labradoodle named Cocoa came into this young boy’s life, and it was love at first sight!

Wherever Skyler went: to restaurants, the movies, or even on airplanes, Cocoa was with him. His soothing presence made a significant difference in Skyler’s life, and they became inseparable. In all my years, I have never seen such devotion between a dog and his master!

A few weeks ago, in anticipation of an upcoming vacation, the parents decided to drop off Cocoa at a relative’s home. They wondered how their son and the dog would do if they were separated for a little while. If they did well, then Cocoa would stay behind during the upcoming trip to Disneyworld.

The relative’s house had a six-foot fence and was well contained. What nobody had anticipated was the tremendous love and devotion Cocoa had towards Skyler. Within a few hours, the family received a very distressing phone call informing them that Cocoa had jumped the fence and escaped. He was now 12 miles away from home and in a neighborhood that was completely unfamiliar to him. Skyler’s friends and family were alerted to come and search for his dog, but there was only a few short hours until nightfall.

The first legitimate tip came in, and it didn’t bode well for Cocoa. He had been spotted by a motorist, running up the on-ramp and onto the westbound eight-lane freeway. It was the same freeway that Skyler and his family had driven to get to their relative’s home. Cocoa had recognized the road and was actually running back the direction he had come! This news concerned all of us, not only because of the obvious danger that 70-mph cars posed, but there were also packs of hungry, large coyotes that roamed the prairies around that area. Amidst tears and prayers, by 11 p.m. the search had been called off for the night.

The search continued bright and early the next morning. By this time many local television news crews had gotten word and were joining in to help. Because of the news publicity, reliable tips and sightings were coming in. Thankfully, it appeared that not only had Cocoa survived the night but that overnight he had made it an amazing 10 miles closer, to within two miles of his home!

Unfortunately, we combed and scoured the area all day, but were not successful. Skyler and his family even got close enough to see and call for Cocoa as he ran by them, but the news cameras were so omnipresent, that frightened Cocoa didn’t even see or hear Skyler. He just saw some men carrying big, black, boxes, and he kept running to get away from all of the noise and commotion. Day two ended with more hope, but without a reunion between Skyler and Cocoa.

We started our search again early the third morning. Poor Skyler was too traumatized from the close call the day before, so he stayed home to hope and pray and wait. Just a few more hours, and Skyler’s prayers were answered. My sister, Susanne, received a phone call from a lady who hadn’t even seen all of the news segments about Cocoa. She had just found him sleeping in the back yard of a place she was house-sitting. Even more incredible was the fact that she was a dog-trainer and was able to calm him down enough to keep him from running again.

Cocoa’s paws were all raw, his hair was matted and he hadn’t eaten for days, but when Skyler and his special friend finally reunited it was as if this was a Hollywood movie! With film crews capturing every jumping, yelping, and “piddling” moment, tears of joy were shed. Expressions of gratitude to the media (the story ran on all four major local channels on consecutive days) and to all those who helped were extended, including one very special friend who amazingly searched for more than 24 hours straight without sleeping. Needless to say, this answer to prayers has gone a long way towards strengthening Skyler’s testimony.

The moral of the story is, “Cocoa … don’t leave home without him!” I’m writing this article from Disneyworld and yes, Cocoa is vacationing with us!

Dr. Elia Gourgouris is a nationally known speaker, relationship coach, and the president of LDSCoaching.com. With over 20 years of experience, he has inspired thousands of individuals and couples to find greater happiness and fulfillment, both in their careers and their personal lives. He holds a degree from UCLA and a Ph.D. in psychology. Dr. Gourgouris speaks to groups around the country regarding women’s issues, self esteem, communications skills, and relationships. He is also a favorite presenter at both BYU and BYU-ID Education Weeks, and Time Out for Women conferences. He is the author of “DTR: What You Need to Know Before You Get Married” and he has an upcoming CD entitled “The Multi-Platinum Marriage: Going from Just Surviving to Thriving!” He and his wife, Sona, live near Boulder, Colorado, with their children.

Life is certainly unpredictable and full of surprises. Sometimes those events are full of joy and excitement. Others are full of sorrow and sadness. Last week, all seemed well in the world. The school year was coming to an end and the fun-filled summer activities were about to begin. Out-of-town family members were visiting in anticipation of celebrating our son’s graduation.

Sunday dinner was a Greek feast with all the goodies of that delicious cuisine. Games were played, laughter abounded, and eventually goodbyes were said. Unbeknownst to all of us, one of those goodbyes would prove to be final. My wife’s father, Mike, or affectionately known as “Gumpa” to the kids, bid us goodnight. With a big smile he said, “Thank you for dinner, I love you all and I’ll see you at the graduation.”

As life would have it, those were the last words we would ever hear from him. A couple of days later he missed the graduation of his oldest grandchild. After a few unreturned phone calls, we knew something was wrong. He would never miss such a significant family event. He loved celebrating with his family. Going to his house with the lights and the TV on we called out his name but no answer came. Our favorite “Gumpa” was gone from this mortal life.

Even with the knowledge of the gospel and its eternal perspective, the loss is monumental. We know that mortal death is part of life.

In a passage taken from a recent Sunday School lesson: That separation evokes pangs of sorrow and shock among those left behind. The hurt is real. Only its intensity varies. Whether a tragic death — whose chance for a full life has been cut short, or the passing of the elderly or infirm who have been afforded merciful relief, we are rarely ready to let go. We mourn for those loved and lost. Mourning is one the deepest expressions of pure love. Moreover, we can’t fully appreciate joyful reunions later without tearful separations now. The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life.

Most of us have already experienced the loss of loved ones. Whether it is a parent, a sibling, a spouse, a child, a best friend or just someone we felt close to and admired, the finality of their absence can be heartbreaking and overwhelming. When the loss is sudden and unexpected, we are not given an opportunity to come to terms with it. The reality hits us head on like a runaway train. The Savior admonished us to “mourn with those that mourn,” and so we shall. It is very difficult to see your eternal companion in so much pain, and watching your son sob because he misses his grandpa is heartbreaking indeed. Yet we know that time has a remarkable way of soothing even the most painful feelings. Time really does heal our wounds.

Faith in the knowledge that one day we will reunite with our loved ones can bring us tremendous comfort. Today that reunion seems SO far away, though. So we express our grief and sorrow as we must. Of course there is no “right” way to grieve. For some it’s the shedding of tears. For others a quite melancholy introspection. Let us never judge each other for how we each choose to express our grief.

So tomorrow we say our final goodbye to you, Gumpa. We love you! We miss you! You lived a remarkable life. You epitomized the American Dream! We will never forget your kindness and generosity, your thunderous laughter, your childlike enthusiasm and the larger-than-life personality. We have been blessed to have you in our lives all these years. Until we meet again, we say God bless you and may your rest in peace!

Your children, grandchildren, family and friends.

Read Mike Partayan’s story here.

Dr. Elia Gourgouris is a nationally known speaker, relationship coach, and the president of LDSCoaching.com. With over 20 years of experience, he has inspired thousands of individuals and couples to find greater happiness and fulfillment, both in their careers and their personal lives. He holds a degree from UCLA and a Ph.D. in psychology. Dr. Gourgouris speaks to groups around the country regarding women’s issues, self esteem, communications skills, and relationships. He is also a favorite presenter at both BYU and BYU-ID Education Weeks, and Time Out for Women conferences. He is the author of “DTR: What You Need to Know Before You Get Married” and he has an upcoming CD entitled “The Multi-Platinum Marriage: Going from Just Surviving to Thriving!” He and his wife, Sona, live near Boulder, Colorado, with their children.

Dear Dr. Elia,

Signed: Overwhelmed

I have heard that adversity can come as a result of three different types of situations: sometimes it comes as a result of our poor choices, at other times the circumstances of life can simply cause problems or pain. Your situation falls into the third category, which happens when another person’s destructive choices bring about pain, suffering and loss to those around them. Unfortunately, your husband’s selfishness has caused the loss of your family as you’ve known it for 24 years. You imply that it’s been the last seven years since he started to “act out” outside of the marriage. Hopefully at least the first 17 years were good.

So what does the future hold for you and your children? Well as you know, ultimately no matter how devastating the circumstances have been, your future can only be determined by the choices you make today. Understand that your reaction to this tremendous life changing betrayal is absolutely normal. You are doing everything in your power and within your control to heal from the break up of your marriage and your family. You are already using many positive tools by having a support group, attending counseling, reading scriptures, taking time for heartfelt prayers, asking for blessings and making use of the Atonement. Maintaining your children’s love, respect and support are also crucial. And as you know, finding solace in the peacefulness of the Temple can bring you additional strength as you face the long road to recovery. You are doing many things right already!

I’d like to focus on one of your comments, that this has been a huge blow to your self-esteem. Try to remind yourself that his inappropriate actions of infidelity are a reflection of him and not of you. The inner and outer beauty that you possess as Heavenly Father’s daughter is NOT diminished by someone else’s sinful behaviors. I recognize the betrayal you must feel, but rest assured that you didn’t cause these things to happen. The real culprit is lust! There are many unhappily married couples, but most of them do not choose to sleep around and break their marital covenants. No one has forced him to be unfaithful; he chose to do it entirely on his own!

You also asked about your children and their healing prospects: my advice is that the best way to teach your children to move forward is by your own example. If they see their mom moving ahead by creating a new, happier and more optimistic life, they’ll have “permission” to do the same. If they see you forgiving their father, they will eventually do the same. I’m sure that they used to look up to their dad, but that trust and respect has now been shattered. So they must look up to you for guidance and direction. The most hopeful message you can give both them and yourself, is your desire to live a full life and be happy. This is a righteous desire and it will be granted to you in time.

Your heart, mind and soul are in the right place. Your priorities are in alignment with your spiritual beliefs. Treat this period in your life as if you were running a marathon. At times it will feel like the end of the race will never come, but surely it will. Endure with all the temporal and spiritual tools that you have available. What feels like just surviving right now will eventually become a loving and thriving life. You will have joy in your posterity. This too shall pass! You’re doing everything right. Be patient and faithful. Rely on the Spirit for comfort, guidance and protection. Hold onto hope, and may God bless you for your faithfulness!

Dr. Elia Gourgouris is a nationally known speaker, relationship coach, and the president of LDSCoaching.com. With over 20 years of experience, he has inspired thousands of individuals and couples to find greater happiness and fulfillment, both in their careers and their personal lives. He holds a degree from UCLA and a Ph.D. in psychology. Dr. Gourgouris speaks to groups around the country regarding women’s issues, self esteem, communications skills, and relationships. He is also a favorite presenter at both BYU and BYU-ID Education Weeks, and Time Out for Women conferences. He is the author of “DTR: What You Need to Know Before You Get Married” and he has an upcoming CD entitled “The Multi-Platinum Marriage: Going from Just Surviving to Thriving!” He and his wife, Sona, live near Boulder, Colorado, with their children.

At the start of every New Year, we make our resolutions — we are encouraged by the freshness of it all.

What lies ahead are the endless possibilities for a new start. We are determined that this is the year we will lose that extra 10 pounds or get in shape. This is the year we’re finally going to visit our favorite aunt and uncle. This is the year we’re going to spend more time playing with the kids or grandkids, or that we are going as a family to finally see the Grand Canyon or some other historical site that we’ve always wanted to see.

All these self-made promises are well-meaning and I believe totally sincere.  So why is it that by February most of us have given up on the daily exercise goal or have already stopped dreaming about making our resolutions come true? I think part of it is lack of accountability. Human nature does not like to hold itself accountable very often. Unless you fall in the rare category of the well-disciplined individual, the chances are you’re like the rest of us, well-intended but lacking focus and discipline.

So how and by whom can we be held accountable? I propose that we find an individual who has our best interest in mind but does not try to control our behavior. It can be a spouse, a best friend or trusted adviser. In a professional setting, it can be a partner, an executive coach, a boss or even a direct report. In a spiritual setting, it can be a bishop or another adviser. Rest assured that if the willingness for change is sincere, the people and resources already exist.

The other half of the equation is the fact that we don’t let go of “old stuff” or old dysfunctional patterns. Let me illustrate: if you decided to get a new dining room set for your home, what would you have to do? Well, first you’d go shopping; you’d pick the one you like and then have it delivered to your home. Imagine the delivery folks ringing your doorbell and asking you where you’d like the new set to go. The answer is, “Just crowd it in there with the old dining room set!” Now of course that’s ridiculous-sounding, isn’t it? Don’t we usually sell the old set or give it away, before the delivery of the new one takes place?

This makes perfect sense when it comes to physical things such as the example above. We would make room for the new by getting rid of the old. How about old patterns and habits that are weighing us down? I look forward to every spring because there’s that sense of renewal! Everything is turning green, people seem happier as they begin to work outside on their flowers and water their lawns. They plant seeds in their vegetable gardens and hope to taste the delicious “fruits of their labor” in the summer.

Well, what do we need to make room for in our lives, and why should we wait until next New Year’s Day to make another resolution for change? Now is the very best time to eliminate one dysfunctional thought pattern or behavior and replace it with seeds of happiness and health. What will it be for you?

As for me and my house, it is to live more in the here and now! Worry less about what the future will bring. Just thinking about the future causes such stress to mind and soul. And who knows what it’s doing to the body? My goal is to enjoy every moment. The kids are getting older and our time with them will be short-lived. I need to be in the present mentally, physically and emotionally. Carpe Diem! Seize the Day!

Mark Twain once said that he had a lot of troubles in his life, but most of them never happened. In other words, most of them are in our heads as we worry and stress about the future. So that’s my new “spring resolution,” and I hope that you’ll all keep me accountable!

Now it’s your turn: what thought or behavior will you give up and what will you replace it with? More importantly, who will help you by holding you accountable? It’s not too late! I know making even one change for the positive — and sustaining it — will make 2009 a memorable year!

Dr. Elia Gourgouris is a nationally known speaker, relationship coach, and the president of LDSCoaching.com. With over 20 years of experience, he has inspired thousands of individuals and couples to find greater happiness and fulfillment, both in their careers and their personal lives. He holds a degree from UCLA and a Ph.D. in psychology. Dr. Gourgouris speaks to groups around the country regarding women’s issues, self esteem, communications skills, and relationships. He is also a favorite presenter at both BYU and BYU-ID Education Weeks, and Time Out for Women conferences. He is the author of “DTR: What You Need to Know Before You Get Married” and he has an upcoming CD entitled “The Multi-Platinum Marriage: Going from Just Surviving to Thriving!” He and his wife, Sona, live near Boulder, Colorado, with their children.

In a few days we’ll be celebrating Mother’s Day. In my mind and heart, however, I see it as an opportunity to celebrate ALL of the great women in our lives. I know that each one of us has been profoundly influenced and forever changed as a result of their contributions to us.

Like most people, the first and most significant female influence in my life came from my mother, Petrula (the Greek feminine for Peter). I count her as my greatest blessing, not only for bringing me to life but for her example and gift of unconditional love. I don’t know if somewhere deep down inside she knew her life would be cut short. What she managed in her 51 years on this earth was to spread love, laughter, warmth, dedication, kindness and above all a safe haven that only a mother can provide. She was beloved by EVERYONE who met her and became a second “mom” to all our friends.

She also taught by example, what enduring well to the end looked like. When she was first diagnosed with cancer at the age of 39, it was a complete shock to us all. Back in those days they didn’t even use the “c” word, because at least in Greece it was seen as a death sentence. But my mom had young kids at home, and losing that battle was not an option, so she beat it for a while. It came back six years later but with my brother beginning college and with me still in high school, she fought like a tiger and beat cancer again.

Unfortunately, it came back a third and final time, I remember visiting her at the hospital with my brother. It was our college graduation day, and she was too sick to attend. We walked in dressed in our caps and gowns, both UCLA graduates (my brother had just received his master’s degree). She looked at both of us and said with tears in her eyes, that “Now I can go and rest … this is what I was holding on for … you got the best education possible and you’ll be fine.”  She passed away in a few months, having fought the good fight to the end.

But as you might know, it was not “fine” for us. Our lives would never be the same, and our spirits would never again be quite as bright in this lifetime. Her legacy of love, however, continues to live on through our own lives and our children’s lives. What she taught me was the most important lesson that I’ve carried with me throughout my life, and that is to love people no matter what. Leave the judging to God and just accept and love everyone! This is the best way I’ve found to honor her.

As life moved on, I married someone who has very similar attributes as my mom. She took me in and fellowshipped me when I first joined the church. We became best friends, long before we tied the knot. I see her as an incredible mom, (my kids won’t like me sharing this, but they still call her mommy) dedicated to raising faithful, loving leaders of goodness. Her inner beauty matches her outer countenance! I’m very fortunate to have had two such great examples of Christ-like love.

It does not end there, however. Aunts, grandmas, a wonderful sister, an adopted mom, cousins, nieces, friends, “sisters” I have served and worked with and thousands of women that I’ve met in my travels and lectures have blessed my life beyond description. It has been such an honor to be in their presence, to partake of their wisdom, warmth and kindness. I believe with all my heart that God saved the best for last. When he created a woman, it was the crowning achievement.

So let us celebrate all the women in our lives. We are better because of them and their influence. Furthermore, let us honor them with our love and respect each and every day. It’s the very least we can do.

Dr. Elia Gourgouris is a nationally known speaker, relationship coach, and the president of LDSCoaching.com. With over 20 years of experience, he has inspired thousands of individuals and couples to find greater happiness and fulfillment, both in their careers and their personal lives. He holds a degree from UCLA and a Ph.D. in psychology. Dr. Gourgouris speaks to groups around the country regarding women’s issues, self esteem, communications skills, and relationships. He is also a favorite presenter at both BYU and BYU-ID Education Weeks, and Time Out for Women conferences. He is the author of “DTR: What You Need to Know Before You Get Married” and he has an upcoming CD entitled “The Multi-Platinum Marriage: Going from Just Surviving to Thriving!” He and his wife, Sona, live near Boulder, Colorado, with their children.

The incredible story of Susan Boyle!

By now most people with access to the internet have heard of the amazing story of Susan Boyle. Astoundingly, more than 46 million hits on YouTube have made her an overnight sensation! The background is as follows: on the hit TV show “Britain’s Got Talent” (the British version of “American Idol”) in front of three judges, including cynical Simon Cowell, comes the very ordinary Susan Boyle.

She’s a frumpy looking middle-age woman. She is the exact opposite of most contestants on these shows. No glamor, no fashion, odd looking by TV standards. She’s Britain’s Cinderella in real life. She’s the youngest of nine children with a learning disability who was made fun of as a child. She’s unemployed and lives alone in a poor, rough part of Blackburn, Scotland, in a small cottage. She’s never even been kissed, sings in her local church choir, and has single-handedly taken care of her sick mother for the past several years until her mother recently died. But Susan has always had a dream: to showcase her “talent.”

Out she steps into the footlights and squints as she introduces herself. As the cameras pan the faces of the studio audience, we see them silently jeer her every awkward word, anticipating that she’ll humiliate herself in front of millions. Cowell, playing along with the joke, asks Susan who she would like to be like. Her naive answer is to be like the incredible stage diva Elaine Page (the original “Evita”). As you would expect, more snickering from the audience and funny looks from the judges ensue. When asked why now at her age (47) she’s decided to “share” her talent with the world, her answer is filled with innocence: “I’ve never had the opportunity!”

How many of us have felt the same way in life? We know we have something special and wish that just once in our lifetime we had a chance — one chance to show the world what we’re made of! Susan tells the audience that she will sing “I Dreamed a Dream” from “Les Miserables”! It’s a famous and incredibly difficult song to sing, so more eye-rolling from the audience is unleashed upon the unaware Susan. But as it turned out, she couldn’t have picked a more appropriate song, because when the music started, something remarkable took place!

Out of this quite ordinary, frumpy, “backward” woman, came an extraordinary voice! It was like watching the ugly duckling become a beautiful swan before our unbelieving eyes and ears! As her performance unfolded, we witnessed the audience’s jeers change to looks of disbelief. Some smiles began to appear, and by the time Susan’s voice had reached some incredibly beautiful notes halfway through the song, the audience was moved, en mass, to cheers — many even to tears! As members of the audience unilaterally rose to their feet and applauded, the three judges looked at each other in utter disbelief at the angelic voice coming out of this woman. An unprecedented explosion of emotions had been unleashed upon one person at a time, based on her immaculate performance!

I have to admit that the first time I saw her performance, I cried out of pure joy for her … and I’m a guy! It was the kind of spiritual experience you feel deep down inside your soul. The old adage “never judge a book by its cover” could not have been better exemplified than with Susan and her singing. It was a not-so-subtle reminder that we are not to judge anyone by looks or appearances.

For those of you who have not had the chance to experience Susan’s remarkable talent, here’s your chance. For those who have seen it before, take another look and enjoy a God-given talent of a sweet, humble and adorable, everyday woman!  Watch it for yourself and see if you don’t get chills. If there’s anything that Susan teaches us, it is to never, ever give up on our dreams.

Dr. Elia Gourgouris is a nationally known speaker, relationship coach, and the president of LDSCoaching.com. With over 20 years of experience, he has inspired thousands of individuals and couples to find greater happiness and fulfillment, both in their careers and their personal lives. He holds a degree from UCLA and a Ph.D. in psychology. Dr. Gourgouris speaks to groups around the country regarding women’s issues, self esteem, communications skills, and relationships. He is also a favorite presenter at both BYU and BYU-ID Education Weeks, and Time Out for Women conferences. He is the author of “DTR: What You Need to Know Before You Get Married” and he has an upcoming CD entitled “The Multi-Platinum Marriage: Going from Just Surviving to Thriving!” He and his wife, Sona, live near Boulder, Colorado, with their children.

Dear Dr. Elia,

My husband and I have been married for a couple of years. This is our second marriage, and we both have children from our first marriages. We love each other but have very different parenting styles, and we often find ourselves and our children in conflict. We don’t want this to ruin another marriage — what can you suggest?

Thank you,

Tracy

Dear Tracy,

That is an excellent question. But before I answer it, I’d like to emphasize one very important point: different parenting styles are not exclusive to blended families and their children. As a matter of fact, they afflict most parents that I know of, and there is a good reason for it. When we get married, most of us have a preconceived idea of what kind of parents we would like to be, and it typically comes from how we grew up ourselves. Either we try to emulate those things we admired about our parents as children, or we vow to do exactly the opposite of what our parents did, if we did not like the way we were raised.

With regard to your question, blended families carry the additional burden of having to deal with the emotional baggage that a divorce always brings. Unfortunately, raising children and step-children can stretch a new couple in ways they had never imagined before, sometimes even pushing them to the brink of a second divorce. You are wise to seek outside counsel early on in your marriage as a prevention, which is always less expensive emotionally, spiritually and financially than waiting until the problems grow to mountainous proportions.

1. Find some quiet time with your husband to talk, pray and, more importantly, listen to each others’ ideas and points of view. As the spirit guides you, look for a win-win outcome. This isn’t about who is right but which approach is best. For example, if my wife has the right idea about something that pertains to our children, it would behoove me to not only listen but support and fully embrace it. What would be the benefit if, by disregarding this advice out of pride or other reasons, I ultimately harm those children I claim to love more than anything in this world.
2. Once you are more aligned with your spouse, you need to get “buy-in” from the children. This is best achieved by having a monthly “PPI” (personal parent interview). In our family, we typically do this on fast Sunday, when we meet with each child individually with the purpose of understanding their point of view. After prayer and inviting the spirit, we ask them specifically about school, their friends, church, personal spiritual growth and their relationship with Mom, Dad and each of their siblings. We look at what is currently working, what is not working, and what they would like to see changed. After that, throughout the month, we support, encourage and also hold them accountable to the promises they have made. We also encourage them to hold us accountable, as we are not perfect parents, and we have much to learn and improve from understanding our children’s point of view.
3. The third point happens as we fully embrace the gospel as a family together, not by just merely going through the motions. By this I mean having daily family meaningful scripture study, sincere family prayer, and weekly family councils and family home evenings. It is so important to avoid having cliques within families, especially blended families, such as “my kids vs. your kids,” “boys vs. girls,” “oldest vs. youngest.” The best way to avoid this is through family councils, where each member of the family can, in a constructive and positive way, express their fears, concerns, hurts and successes. This allows the children, especially, to have a voice without behind-the-scenes manipulations, or without playing one parent against the other.

I recognize that it takes a tremendous amount of extra energy and time to bring these things about. But what could be the outcome of embracing these true and enduring principles? In my personal and professional experience, the outcome is what every parent wishes for: a united, thriving, spiritual family where growth is encouraged and love is expressed — daily, if not hourly. As parents, we all want our children to be happy, and there is no shortcut. This is the way!

Dr. Elia Gourgouris is a nationally known speaker, relationship coach, and the president of LDSCoaching.com. With over 20 years of experience, he has inspired thousands of individuals and couples to find greater happiness and fulfillment, both in their careers and their personal lives. He holds a degree from UCLA and a Ph.D. in psychology. Dr. Gourgouris speaks to groups around the country regarding women’s issues, self esteem, communications skills, and relationships. He is also a favorite presenter at both BYU and BYU-ID Education Weeks, and Time Out for Women conferences. He is the author of “DTR: What You Need to Know Before You Get Married” and he has an upcoming CD entitled “The Multi-Platinum Marriage: Going from Just Surviving to Thriving!” He and his wife, Sona, live near Boulder, Colorado, with their children.